Being single brings on a lot of silence. Being scared to let someone in brings on alot of anxiety. Being able to see through people’s words and judging but their actions leaves you so disappointed. I’m at that point of not even being interested in being with another person because what lies beneath the smile and sweet words isn’t always what you think it would be.

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Very sad aint it? Well a person in my past honestly has made me stop and re-evaluate every single person I have been involved with. I find myself asking did they really love me? Did they respect me? Were they worried i wouldn’t let my guard down? Do they ever think about me? That last one is very important. We sometimes have folks in our thoughts that havent had a second thought about you. Crazy. It’s true though.

I have sentence myself to silence. My issues are so big if I keep silent about them maybe no one will notice me and i can move about for the rest of my life feeling safe. I’m fooling myself with what im typing. I love being in love. I love seeing others in love. I love God so love is in me. Just not sure who deserves it. I’m waiting on whoever god has got me paired with. I have had plenty of time to prepare myself. All of this silence is even becoming annoying to me. Hope i am not alone.

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Thanks for reading.

Peace and blessings

 

~Budda

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