Le’ Struggle

I’ve struggled before and I’ve come through it okay. For me and my kids I have tried to keep it from them when shit is going bad. Now it’s at the point that I can’t hide it. They notice it. It’s the holiday weekend and my fridge is on 25%. My pay week is next week and everyone I’ve asked either don’t have it or just don’t want to spare it. Whenever in in a position to help anyone I do. I don’t have to think about or make arrangements with nobody. I’m waiting for my rewards in heaven. I’m quite sure I’m not the only one experiencing hardships right now. Seems like when I’m having the most trouble nobody is around. Not even my kids father’s sacrifice a meal or two for the kids. They always wondering if the gonna get credit from child support.  I’m trying my best not to blow up their spot but truthfully that shit is dead. My kids deserve better than a few pairs of shoes and a phone bill paid every now and then. I got one about to graduate next year and one just getting started in high school. I’m trying to stay healthy but this stress is taking it out of me. I make it happen as best as I can…sometimes I don’t feel it’s my best. I’ve let my children down in a way. They don’t feel that way but I do. I was raised to make it do what it do no matter what. That gets harder and harder when you got mouths to feed. I’ve extended my help in every direction I  could, now I don’t have it my phone doesn’t ring anymore. Nobody knocks on my door. Nobody cares about my situation.  I’m venting on my blog because nobody is gonna read it anyway. God has been called upon. Now I have to wait for the help I asked for. I just want a little more help…

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