I need a Reset….only if it was that easy

Hmmmm…. i have so much that i don’t like right now. I wish i could not care about anyone anymore. I hope those who have pissed me off lately know..i wont be carrying them over into 2013. I have grown very uninterested in reading or contributing to anything as of lately. It always turns out that someone will always take me being direct the wrong way. I’m not being a bitch, I’m being completely honest. I have respect for others feelings, but not sympathy for the things you can control. Sugar coating shit has never been one of my best personality traits. Go head analyze what i write..correct my grammar…judge my writing style. This isn’t high school or college. I’m not awaiting approval from no body. Everything i write the way i talk…freely.

I said i was getting tired of the cyber world as far as FB goes i will be limiting my time to my groups. I barely read or comment on other peoples post cause it ain’t worth it. Just like i was told don’t post in a public forum and not expect everyone to have a different take on you. I define me. I don’t and won’t allow people to tell me who i am. Who i gotta be, what’s OK to say. Fuck you and the high horse you rode in on. Flat out I have a different take on life. I am going to take my power back. I have allowed so much extra to consume me. This isn’t a resolution it’s a life change. Most cant say that with a straight face i can and will. I’m erasing my phone contacts and keep the numbers of those i do talk to, those i text, those i Tango with…because they communicate back with me…not just when they see a off the wall status of mine. 

See I’m pressing the restart button. I allowed the devil to change my whole life this year. Not a person the actual devil. I allowed things to get topsy turvy. I shut down on the one person who has been down for me cause i was fighting with this demon. I have to take some of the blame cause Lord knows i wasn’t thinking clearly. One night i prayed for clarity and whew chile did i get a big kick in the face. Lost a friend (she lost me) and started letting insecurity into my relationship. I don’t know how much God was in that but it happened so quick. I have opened the door to my future…it’s not going to be an easy ride but i am going to try my best to keep it together. My children tell me all the time that they are happy and comfortable. I need to chill. I will never get to comfortable ever cause when i do the shit goes all bad.

You can’t help who you love but you can help who you allow to be in your life. Love isn’t a reason to stay together. I’ve said that before. I have zero interest in starting over. I don’t want to be nothing but friends. This has been a rough one for me. I just want to be happy with Angie first. I’m back to working out, i try to eat right, and i try to keep my health on track. Once all that gets back into sync i will be a happy camper. Notice i didn’t make anyone responsible for my happiness…it starts with me i get it! Yesterday was a bad day for me…i was angry and didn’t know why. I am up typing this at 5am. I’ve been up every morning at this time on my off day. My thoughts are swirling around..i will put those on paper, they don’t belong out here. For those who stop by and peep what i write thanks. For those who make snide comments in their blogs in reference to me Thanks…its my shit i do what i please Got It? It’s all love boo. Smooches. 

wouldn’t it be nice!!


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